In my life...

I'm a list maker. I must have half a dozen lists going right now... things to do, things to buy, even a list of what Christmas presents I'm buying people this year! For the past 5 years or so, I've also been keeping a list simply titled "In My Life". On it I list all the things I want to do in my life. I take it out once in awhile to read it and occasionally add things to it, but I've never crossed anything off. Until last Friday. I put on my brave face, walked into a tattoo parlor, and crossed #11 off the list. I was feeling pretty empowered, so I re-read it to see what I could do next. Halfway down (#17) was "dance like nobody's watching". It's been there for at least 2 years, so why has it taken me so long to get there? Why was having permanent ink put in my skin more important than letting go of the hurts, disappointments, failures and insecurities? Because as long as I hold on to those things, I have something to hide behind. But hiding takes a lot of energy, and I'm tired of it. I don't want to hide anymore. I want to dance like nobody's watching, live my life for an audience of one. I want to be free.
Maybe I'll go skydiving next...